Tuesday, August 13, 2013

sharp personalities


Agave americana 'Variegata' sadly I let this turn to a pile of mush as it had to be sacrificed to allow my partner to move in. Missouri winters are just too cold and unfortunately we experienced a typical winter in 2012-2013. Conversely, winter 2011-2012 was very mild and allowed some plants to reside outside. My building is a two family flat (ca. 1905) all red brick and stone. The front faces south so offers extra protection from those vile and biting north winds in the winter. Originally, the agave pictured was a pup plucked from someone's beach house in Florida in 2010. It grew fabulously and behaved well in a small pot. The occasional puncture from the terminal spine reminded me though it is architecturally appealing, it is awkwardly cumbersome (due to it's buxomness and ample water stored in leaves) and anti-social. Is that a reflection of my personality?




















Working down page: an unidentified cactus I acquired in college (before 2007) that martyred itself so my man-stud could move into the lovenest. This phallic needle tower could not survive the winter on the stoop. Just as everyone is all the same in one regard, we meet the same fate in the end--such as this cactus. No promises of angelic language, but i'll try to keep things civil. BUT, see the Parodia magnifica top right corner in the above picture? Absolutely one of my favorite cacti. Some mother fucker stole it from the front yard. I don't usually wish ilk on fellow man, and if something did happen, I know statistically, it would be mere coincidence, so here goes...whoever stole my Parodia it would sure be bad for them if their breaks gave out on their car and drove off a cliff Tunsis the Cat style.

Here you can see the hemorrhage of potted plants dripping off the back porch. Extreme early morning and late day sun is all the plants on the porch proper received. You can see mostly green; I'm not much into showy dramatic floriferous plants. I like unique, useful, poisonous, and/or purposeful. Off the rails in baskets were basils, cilantro, parsely, cuban oregano; off the posts were variegated pelargoniums that I had been keeping for three years; everything else is a brouhaha of foliage.
 
Summer 2012 represented hell's presence on earth--if you believe in such a thing. One of the hottest, driest, and Saharan summers in recent record. Many trees burned and scorched and defoliated prematurely. Rains returned late and stimulated a growth spurt on some trees. Several plants dried up and turned to kindling. This makes one reconsider which plants are truly durable in the extremes a St. Louis climate can throw at them. Albeit, my plants were watered well and flourished.  At time of writing--August 2013--rainy and cool is the norm thus far.

 
The quite-endowed green pole is my beloved Cereus peruvianus grown from seed. It is in year eight of life and a pain in the ass to move around. When I haul it indoors and outdoors every season, I really consider getting a fanciful kilt for the occasion and training to compete with the Scotsmen for the Caber toss.

 
The tree to the left was a lemon tree that regularly flowered and bore delicious Missouri-grown lemons. I have been asked, "Why would you grow lemons when they are so incredibly cheap and readily available at the store?" Why does anybody grow anything? Well here is a reason why: Fever Tree Bitter Lemon Tonic Water, some vodka, ice, and freshly squeezed lemon juice picked off the tree seconds ago, and a lemon leaf for garnish...that's why. Because I like to be pompous and self-aggrandizing.
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